Rubble Club Archives

Hello, this is Madge Dumpling speaking. For the information of new members,  I am the Chairman of the Rubble Club  and you have arrived safely in my cosy parlour for this week’s meeting. Well done for getting here and now you can get ready for you and your pet rocks to have the time of your lives. Please pop your little pets on the mantelpiece along with everyone else’s while they exchange their friendly silent messages. Don’t bother to take their hats off, they like to show them off to their friends. That’s it, now help yourself to gritty gnomeberry tarts and fresh gravel tea with a splash of my new speciality ingredient, Tizer. (Don’t worry, the Tizer won’t send nasty bubbles up your nose, I’ve let it stand for a few days so there’s not a bubble in sight). Take a seat and try to contain your excitement while I prepare to make my weekly report to the membership.

John, Lucy and Lily, your fabulous prizes for doing so well in the ‘make a boat for your pet rock’ competition are still waiting to be collected. Suz, yours is in the post, and thank you for your letters. I am sad that you and Linda (and Malcolm’s friend, Tea Boy Bob)from Kilmarnoch cannot come to Gynn Gardens tomorrow (Sunday) to play with Granny Gray’s clay. I shall be there of course, supervising, because I have heard a whisper that Granny Gray has written a story of her own about Gynn Gardens and she intends to speak it out loud to everyone who comes tomorrow. What a cheek! What about my stories? Mine would be better than hers, wouldn’t they? I haven’t actually got one about Gynn Gardens but if she had told me I would have immediately made up a fabulous one. All I can say is, her story had better be about me and my pet rock-whispering antics in Gynn Gardens or there will be big trouble. To make sure she does not forget to mention the Rubble Club, I am giving her a little bag full of orphans to hand out to any nice kind children she can find.

And now on to Linda’ s  pet rock illuminations. Last week she announced that she had trimmed up her pet rocks’ sandpit dish with some twinkling lights to remind them of their Blackpool origins. Unselfishly she has sent us a picture of it so we can all do something like it for our own pet rockeries. Look and learn, Rubble Clubbers.

I am pleased to see that Linda’s pet rocks are getting into the wintery illuminations mood, sporting their lovely Blackpool Illuminations winter knitwear, made as only Linda can make it. And that is why she is the Rubble Club’s official Knitter-in Chief. Now you can see how it’s done, perhaps you can all take the time to copy Linda’s inspired  creation. If you do, take a photo of it for me please. You know how I like to get photos from lovely homes like Lindas where pet rocks rule the roost.

Last week a very delightful young man called Tim had a magical birthday party and he gave everyone an orphan to take home. If you got one of those orphans and want another one free, pop round to Gynn Gardens, (just round the corner from that world-famous landmark, the Magic Wand Factory Shop on Dickson Road) tomorrow between 10a.m. and 1p.m. and find Granny Gray. She’ll be showing off her gnome paintings, telling some kind of (selfishly)top secret story and letting everyone mess about with her clay free of charge. Tell her to show you how to make a hat for your pet rock, or perhaps a little cave big enough for your own pet rock and its new little friend, or anything else you can think of for your pet rock. Don’t let her just sit there. Tell her that I, Madge Dumpling, sent you. This could be your only chance to get your hands on her clay and make something of your very own. If it rains, there will be cover, so don’t let a few spots of rain put you off. As we all know, it never rains for long here in Blackpool, anyway. Granny Gray will be the doddery old woman in the hut in the middle of the gardens. BBC Radio Lancashire will be there so think up something you can say about your pet rock in case anyone interviews you. I have got my own speech ready and tonight I am going to trim up my hat with tangerine and white pompoms, so they should have no trouble spotting me.  I have never been a radio star before!

I have just thought of something. If I be quick and write a Gynn Gardens story I could push in front of Granny Gray and do the story-telling instead of her. Rubble Clubbers, entertain yourselves for a bit, will you?. Linedancer, my Head Prefect, can lead the pet rock line-dancing display while I disappear and get my thinking cap on. I don’t have long. Next week I will do a Gazette for you, I promise, but not now, not this week. I see my moment disappearing fast i f I do not act quickly. So, till next week, when I will give you a full report on Gynn Gardens Day, I remain your highly responsible Chairman and busy little friend, Madge Dumpling.