Rubble Club Archives

Hello to all you devoted pet rock owners and welcome back to the Stone Quarry cottage in the Rocky Headlands of Undergrowby. I am your friendly Chairman, the world-famous pet rock whisperer Madge Dumpling. Like the eternal flame that never dies I am here once again to speak to you in person on important matters related to your little pets. Today it seems I have no football-related business to do, so we can take our time and lounge about together watching our pet rocks mingling once again with their old friends. They are as good as gold, look at them, having a silent game of I Spy together on the mantelpiece.  Pet rocks do like a nice big reunion, don’t they? If yours are too shy to go on the mantelpiece, sit them on your lap in the warmth of your laptop where they can read my words of Dumpling Wisdom. It’s the least I can do for them. Once again I have laid on a fabulous party for us all to get together once a week, with nice crunchy titbits to eat.

The competition has one week to go before the voting ends and a winner is announced. There have been no more entries.

The postbag is very full with Rubble Clubbers chatting away to each other merrily. If you want to send me photos of yourselves for the other Rubble Clubbers to see, I will see if Grandad Gray can fix them up somewhere so you can catch a glimpse of each other as you really are. If you don’t want to, and prefer to remain mysteriously invisible, like the Growbies,  that’s fine  by me. But if you do send photos, be sure to include your best-behaved pet rock in the picture with you, because pet rocks do not like to be invisible, do they? They are proper little show-offs, and not at all interested in being mysteriously invisible.

Sunny Blackpool’s hard-working sun managed to dry up the unusual, short-lived rainstorms earlier this week but no matter how beautifully it shines it can never stop the Blackpool breeze. And since the Illuminations have been turned on, the Blackpool breeze, much to the sun’s dismay, has got itself whipped up into a rather high wind. Nobody likes a high wind, especially visitors battling their way along the promenade with their pet rocks in their pockets, trying to enjoy the lights. For this reason I have decided to dedicate this week’s picture feature to the important challenge of wind-related pet rock ailments and their cures.

If gnomes or humans get wind strike a different treatment is necessary. Rub the wind pools at the back of your neck, just below your skull, then squeeze the sides of the nail-beds of your pointing fingertip and thumb-tip, (both hands), bend over sideways to stretch out one side, then the other, and then lie down and relax in a warm bath or a warm bed, with or without a lucky ducky. And remember, don’t panic! If your eyes are still crossed write to me and I’ll tell you what to do next.  

And now while you all enjoy the buffet I am going to get my football outfit ready for tomorrow. The pet rocks and I have a long way to go again in our tangerine outfits. If the wind is high it would be much safer to stay at home, but if we get wrapped up we may survive. I will be glad when the football season is over.

Don’t forget 2nd October in Gynn Gardens, Gynn Square Blackpool,  10 a.m. till 1p.m. a real live Rubble Club Meeting with free pet rocks and clay play, and the BBC Radio Lancashire to interview you all. Everyone, their friends, families and pets are welcome.

Next week, if I survive the football-supporting dangers, I shall be announcing the competition winner, so till then I remain your knowlegable Chairman and brave little friend, Madge Dumpling.