Meeting of the Rubble Club 21st August 2010
Hello to all Rubble Club members and your nice, well-groomed pet rocks. Don’t you all look extra-smart this week? I expect you will all be hoping to be chosen to appear in the pantomime featured below in the Gazette, once you find out how exciting it is going to be. I am pleased to announce am now partly in charge of it. The other two pantomime directors are the Misses Divine who run the Undergrowby Post Office across the lane from here. We can never agree on anything so I take no notice of them. There are only two more pet rock stars needed to complete the cast of the show, the wicked queen and the handsome prince. Nobody wants to play the wicked queen, so I am going to have to make one of the post mistresses do it if this goes on much longer. More of that later.
I am devastated to have been too busy with the pantomime to go to Arsenal with the Blackpool football team, dishing out more lucky pet rocks amongst the crowd. I wonder how they have gone on without me. If only more of the supporters would take the trouble to come and get their own pet rocks from the Magic Wand Factory Shop on Dickson Road, Blackpool, rather than leave it all to me, we would be leaving nothing to chance. After all, I am already over-worked. I have my rock samples to collect, my cocktail umbrellas to disinfect, my rock cakes to bake for the buffet,(help yourselves, don’t wait to be asked), my pantomime to direct, my pet rocks to groom and take for a walk, my newspaper reporting to do, and only when all that is done, I have my pet rock whispering to do. I can’t be everywhere. Somebody else has to do something!
On to the postbag. The head prefect, Linedancer, ha s reminded me that she is still on duty, silently, even when there is no time for linedancing and therefore nobody else knows she is there. That’s why the meetings always run so smoothly without intrusion by non-members. Thank you, Linedancer, but I already knew I could depend on you. I may be invisible, but I am not blind. If there is anything to report, I know you will report it with the speed of light, as always.
Linda from Kilmarnoch, the Deputy Head Prefect and chief knitter is now on holiday far away across the ocean, but still finds time to write letters. I would promote you to Secretary, Linda, but I can’t think what your job description could be. I have thought about it and I can’t help deciding I myself am the secretary as well as being the chairman, so don’t get too excited and start writing out your own job description. Anyway, you have too much knitting to do.
On to the competition. There have been no entries yet, so please get on with it, Rubble Clubbers. If you need reminding what the theme of the competition is, please refer to last week’s Meeting. If nobody enters I will have to declare myself the winner of the pet rock boating pool for my floating lily pad contraption with its resident tiny rubber ducky and pet rock boatman. Surely not!
And so on to the Gazette, and with that, until next week I am signing out. I remain your world-famous and yet surprisingly modest Chairman and friendly show business pantomime-directing personality, Madge Dumpling.
