Rubble Club Archives

Hello Rubble Clubbers old and new! Season’s Greetings! Here is the 2009 prize-winning pet rock greetings card made by my three wonderful prefects, John, Jacob and Julie. Weep with joy, Rubblers!

Thanks to myself, your Chairman, Madge Dumpling and that red-coated hard-working new friend of mine who I like to call Mr. Christmas, hundreds of pet rocks and their rightful owners were joyfully united on Christmas morning. I trust they will all be well-loved, perfectly pampered and are sitting on your computer right now this weekend and every weekend,  memorizing my words of pet rock-whispering wisdom for you.

Last week, if you remember, we held the Annual General Meeting at the lovely warm, cosy pub down the road.  Since most of you did not attend, my Deputy Head Prefect, Linda from Kilmarnoch, has dutifully, efficiently (and beautifully) written out the minutes for you.  Here they are…..

“Minutes of the meeting of the Rubble Club, held in the Gynn Hotel, Gynn Square, Blackpool on Thursday 17th December 2009 at 7.00pm.

In Attendance
Madge Dumpling
Granny Gray
Linda, Deputy Head Prefect
Bob, Tea Boy
Cathie, Linda’s Mother
The Pet Rock Boys and Girls.

Apologies

Linedancer

Granny Gray welcomed us on a cold frosty Blackpool night. She explained that she and Madge had carried a basket of Rockies to the venue, tucked in their winter bedding as it was so cold.
Bob the tea-boy carried out his duties by getting everyone a drink and the meeting began.

Granny Gray explained that Madge had come with her but since there was a party going on in the Family room, she had gone on a search for cocktail umbrellas to use for sheltering pet rocks.

Linda asked if Madge was ever going to put her bedtime stories into a book but Granny Gray said she was too busy hatching new rocks and launching her new project, The Undergrowby Gazette and it would be some time before she would even have time to think about writing a book.

Granny Gray introduced the rockies from her basket who were shivering with cold and making ever such a noise as they clattered against each other, even though each was wrapped in a blanket.

She presented Bob with an eco rock, complete with hat. Cathie was presented with a prefects badge and Linda welcomed her to the team, as Linedancer is temporarily (we hope) unavailable. She was also presented with her first pet rock.

Strange noises were heard from the Karaoke, which turned out to be Madge, singing a Pet Rock lullaby. We hope that next year she will have learned the words of something by the Pet Rock Boys or the Rolling Rockies.

Granny Gray thanked everyone for attending and the meeting closed with a promise to meet again next year.

Linda
Deputy head Prefect.
20/12/2009″

There now! Aren’t you all sorry you didn’t come? Please try harder next year, Rubble Clubbers. For my New Year party, I shall be catching one of those Troon coaches to Scotland in search of rare winter rock varieties. I have been invited to a tartan tea-tasting session in Kilmarnoch at the crunchy home of my true Scottish friends and their happy pet rock community. I shall be popping through the gnome flaps of a few other Scottish houses while I am there. I know where you are, all you pet rock owners! My new friend and Rubble Club member, Mr Christmas, has given me all your addresses.

The next edition of the Undergrowby Gazette will be published mid-week if I can find any astonishing gnews to report by then. Oh, don’t worry, Rubblers, I will find some gnews or my name is not Madge Dumpling. I may have to send my friends the pigeons from the Promenade to find me some juicy gossip because at  the moment I am stuck here at work, clapping and chanting in my rocking chair from morning to night hatching out new pet rocks. You see, Rubble Clubbers, I am trying my best to  re-stock the sad, empty shelves in my house and shop after last week’s mass pet rock disappearance involving a spaceship, the collapsing chimney and Mr. Christmas.

New pet rock owners, if you are having trouble settling in your new pets, just pop into the Magic Wand Factory Shop on Dickson road, Blackpool, or go to the online shop, and treat them to lots of fabulous new pet rock accessories. Perhaps a plate of rock cakes or a new hat? A swing or  a slide? A nice bed with fluff, umbrella and feeding dish? A nice llittle book? Try all of them…they are sure to please! Meanwhile, keep them warm, kissed and cuddled and read them one of my pet rock bedtime stories. They know them all off by heart already, so read carefully and be precisely word-perfect, like me.

Till next time, this is your exhausted but happy Chairman and nice little friend, Madge Dumpling, rushing back to work.

Come in, Rubble Clubbers, and leave the door open for the sun to stream in (as it does here in sunny Blackpool, even  when it’s snowing everywhere else.)  Just a few words as you tuck into the buffet, before this week’s  picture show. The famous Linda from Kilmarnoch, the Deputy Head Prefect and the Rubble Club’s Chief Knitter, true to her word, made a live appearance at the Gynn Hotel last Thursday for the Rubble club’s first Annual General Meeting. I watched from under the table as (the equally live)Bob the Tea Boy served up the drinks nicely to Linda, the lovely Cathy, a very tall Rubble Clubber, also from Kilmarnoch (she, too, is an expert knitter, like Linda) and to Granny Gray, my shopkeeper, who happened to be there at the time with a basket full of pet rocks and their own rockylicious Christmas buffet. Cathy was awarded a prefect’s badge and a pet rock just for turning up. I left Linda taking the minutes of the meeting and Granny Gray supervising the presentation of pet rocks as soon as I realised there was a caraoke competition going on in the next room. I thought I had better stay in there looking out for Linedancer, the Head Prefect, who might have got distracted by the singing and forget to go to the meeting, but, despite my selfless efforts,  there was no sign of her, so I entered the entered the competition myself. I climbed my ladder to the microphone and sang a nice song,  a pet rock lullaby called “Go to Sleep, little Rockies, Go to Sleep”. (I wrote it myself). Everyone fell asleep and when they woke up they had forgotten I had ever been there, so I didn’t win. Next time I’ll sing something livelier.

And so on to my new hobby, writing a gnewspaper to rival the Undergrowby Gnews, Undergrowby’s only gnewspaper. The Undergrowby Gnews offices are closed down for the winter because all their reporters (and their readers) are asleep in their bed cupboards, like my husband Malcolm. That gives me till spring to practice gnewspaper-writing and get it right, ready for when the Growbies wake up and want to know all the winter gossip which I alone can tell them.  I called my paper the Undergrowby Gazette, because “Gazette” means “newspaper” in Blackpool.  Here it is.

 And finally, Rubble Clubbers, I have to say thank you to John, Jacob and Julie from Horwich for my beautiful Christmas card with a magnificent photo of their pet rock family in their Christmas outfits. Your pet rock-keeping is so lovely it makes me cry with joy. Just so that you can all have a little cry along with me, I’ll get Grandad Gray to stick it on next week’s Rubble Club page. Till then,  goodbye from me, your faithful Chairman and true friend, Madge Dumpling.

Hello Rubble Clubbers, this is Madge Dumpling, your faithful chairman, reminding you not to forget the A.G.M. at the Gynn Hotel on Thursday night. Anyone who owns a pet rock ought to attend, especially prefects and especially the Head Prefect. Look for the table with pet rocks on it. Right, enough boring writing, on to the pictures!

 Hello, Rubble Clubbers. Before you read about my latest thrilling adventure I want to alert you to a real live meeting on Thursday December 17th in the Gynn Hotel, just down the road from the Magic Wand Factory Shop on Dickson Road, Blackpool. Book your trains and buses and come to Blackpool and meet your Deputy Head Prefect, Linda from Kilmarnoch, the Rubble Club’s chief knitter. Granny Gray, my doddery old shopkeeper will be there, and we are hoping there might also be an appearance from Linedancer, the Head Prefect. Look for the table with the pet rocks on it. There is a family room, so if you are a child, get your mum and dad to bring you. I will be there in person, looking for cocktail umbrellas to add to my collection, and I will see you all there with your pet rocks. Wrap them up warm. There might be a sea breeze and we don’t want them catching a chill.  Hello to Tommy Mordecai, the famous singer and taker of driving test, and thank you for your kind letter. (The email on your website did not work, by the way.) Did you pass your test?

That’s the postbag done, now back to me, (your and my favourite subject), in full colour. Snuggle down on my nice gritty couch and tuck into the rock cakes while you catch up on my exploits.

Your friend and chairman. Madge Dumpling.

P.S. My moonlit cottage is pictured above, bottom left, at the foot of the Rocky Headlands, where it should be, when it is , in fact, in a back yard, but I am no good at drawing back yards, so just imagine it, Rubble Clubbers.